Why do you do what you do?

Developing effective relationships will do more than improve your business.

Guest post by: Mr. X

In a job situation, most people think the easy answer is “the money”.  When you think about your work, I guarantee that your pay check is not the first image that pops into your mind.  If you are in a positive work situation, it is the people that jump to mind.  If it is a negative situation, it is usually the people as well.   You spend most of your life surrounded by people.  Have you taken an account of those relationships that are most important to you and do you invest the time required to grow those relationships?

So the first step to building a great relationship is time.  You build great relationships over time. Who are your 3 best friends?  How much time do you spend with them in a month?  How do you stay in contact with those best friends?  Is it only by email?  Do you get together for coffee?  Do you get your families together regularly?  Different means of contact and the amount of time invested makes the relationship stronger and more memorable.

Do opposites really attract?  There are many people who believe that opposites attract.  I would want to look closer at the attraction because you usually see a quality in someone that you have as well or that you want to develop.  If you read many self improvement books, you will know there are 4 main personality traits.  We have all seen the successful marriage of the loud obnoxious person with the shy quiet one.   You point to this as proof that opposites attract.  If you dig a little deeper though, you will find the core values of those two people are similar.

Have you heard about the story of the horse pull competition?  The two top horses each pulled 2000lbs, individually.  The farmers decided to see if they hooked them together, how much could they pull?  Bets were places between 4000 and 6000lbs but everyone was surprised when together the team of 2 pulled 11,000lbs.   We will naturally cultivate relationships with people going in the same direction and  have similar core values.  This will add to your life and your energy.  We enjoy investing time with people who are like us.  When you are with people you want to enjoy a deeper, more profitable relationship with reinforce your similarities when you invest time together.  It might be hobbies, family, culture, interests, or career.   The core principle of building relationships is we like those who make us feel good about ourselves.   Great relationships take time, effort and consistency.

Use this small thought experiment to see how important relationships are:

What if because you took the time to read this article, I would build your dream home for you and pay for it.  Imagine your dream home.  What would it look like?  Where would it be?  Imagine the parties you could throw with your friends.  However, the only catch is that you are the only one allowed through the front door.  Do you still want the dream home?  I know I wouldn’t but why not have it all.  To be honest, the people in my life, the mentors I have chosen, have built solid relationships with people in life where they want to be.  They have the fruit on the tree.  I would trade everything I have materially for more time with these people because when you have those relationships, it will not be long before your dreams come true.  I encourage you to develop a vision for the most important relationships in your life starting in these 3 areas: spiritual, family and business.